Matthew 18:22 “Jesus said to him, ‘I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.’”
When I was a teenager, I started dating.
All the guys I dated were not ‘good guys’, but I was insecure and wanted attention. I started dating this one guy, in particular, who told me all the things I wanted to hear. Told me I was pretty, beautiful, smart, funny, etc. I started to let down those walls and trust him, after all he found me attractive, what more could a teenage girl want.
Skip forward about a month and he started slowly pressuring me to doing things I didn’t want to do. I thought I could just say no and that would be that.
One day, in particular, we were hanging out alone and he started pressuring me again. I said no like I normally did, but this time he responded differently. He got on top of me and he said that I would like what he wanted to do to me. I then said, No, please get off, you’re hurting me.
But he didn’t.
He held both my hands above my head and proceeded to do things to me. When he was done, I had tears streaming down my face. I asked to leave and he ‘let’ me.
Once I got home, I had a lot of built up hurt and shame. I thought that somehow this was my fault. I decided right then and there to not talk about it and put it behind me.
Shortly after that, I broke up with him and thought I could return to my normal life, but the damage was done. For years, I would get these reoccurring nightmares of what happened to me or I would freak out when someone would hold me down and tickle me. I would get so mad at myself because I ‘wasn’t letting it go’, but I didn’t know how.
I thought I had truly forgiven this guy for what he had done to me, but I hadn’t.
See true forgiveness is forgiving that person and laying that shame and hurt at God’s feet.
Just like how Christ has forgiven us of our sins, we should forgive others when they wrong us.
Not just for the little things, but for the absolute huge things. I know it seems impossible, but you will feel free from those shackles of guilt and hurt when you give it to God. He takes those feelings of hurt, shame, guilt, and more and surrounds you with His love in return.
He wants you to forgive others so He can take your hurt and give you unconditional LOVE.
I can now say that I have forgiven this guy and have truly given all my hurt and shame over to God. How FREEING it truly is.
Matthew 11:28 ‘“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ’”